On January 2, 2018, Ms.Ruby and I proclaimed our eternal love and devotion to each other with a small private ceremony called The Ceremony of Roses. It is a common ceremony in the BDSM community wherein vows are exchanged, and a Dom’s submissive is furnished with a collar. It is also known as a collaring ceremony. Simply, the collar symbolizes the submissive’s granting of ownership and the Dom’s acceptance of it.
Ms.Ruby and I are quite private about our D/s relationship so our ceremony was also very private. We had a few friends who knew about it but nobody was invited to attend. One of my sisters sent a beautiful bouquet of twenty-four roses; this included six white and six red roses.
Almost everything in nature, despite its ordered perfection, gravitates towards chaos and disarray. Leave anything long enough and it will erode, die, decay and eventually re-purpose. A rock takes millennia to exhaust its energy and turn to dust; a single human life is but a flash in comparison. Imagine if in all this chaos, all this tumultuous churning of everything, that when two souls match, they bind forever—the bodies that delivered them, envelopes, messengers in that fleeting moment of existence. I would have it that souls, not physical bodies, seek desperately their pair, and when found snap together like a magnetic lock and key—one propelled inward, the other compelled to hold.
I was a key lost in a box; you found me. We snapped together, a magnetic lock and key; astonished and blinking, I realised I was meant to be yours. Me propelled inward, you, compelled to hold.
The morning of our ceremony, we were quiet, busy, getting the contract together, gathering our papers with our vows, and dressing in appropriate clothing—we had decided we should wear something comfortable, and nothing overly formal.
I pulled two roses from the splendid bouquet sent by one of my sisters—one unopened white and one fully open red. There were no friends or family but those in spirit, and as we brushed past each other we would stop and enjoy a touch, or a soft kiss. We were about to commit to spending eternity with each other. In just a few minutes, Ms. Ruby would fasten a collar around my neck, and I would furnish her with my bracelet, a cherished possession—one of great significance and for which I’d always held deep emotions. This was the setting for our intimate, and private, ceremony of roses.
Once ready, Ms. Ruby and I positioned ourselves across from each other on the bed. To us, the collar, and our vows were the most important aspects of our ceremony. Because we didn’t have witnesses, we made the decision to cut out other popular symbolic additions. Sometimes couples will engage in bloodletting by pricking their fingers with the rose thorns and mixing their blood on the petals. In addition, a chain draped across the couple is often used as a symbol of binding. It can be run through a flame to even further symbolize cleansing and new beginnings. We did not have a chain and we also decided to dispense with bloodletting, despite the fact that the name of this ceremony centres around the roses. Having no witnesses, meant we did not need those added ceremonial pieces and the safety concerns associated with them. It is perfectly okay to modify the ceremony to embody the most important wants of the two people involved.
Once ready, we met and kissed, then began.
I knelt, my hands folded out in front, Ms. Ruby sat cross-legged adjacent from me. I met her gaze and listened to her promise of trust, love and eternal togetherness. The contract, a pen, and the roses lay between us on a square board, and I heard and understood her intention for the collar. I absorbed intently what it meant for her to take responsibility for my body and soul. Her opened red rose, represented her fully blossomed devotion, and my closed white one symbolised my ever-growing, yet never arriving potential to become a perfect submissive. Ms. Ruby assured me I had earned her collar, and that she accepted my gift granting her ownership over me forever.
She then unhinged and placed the titanium ring around my neck, closed it and fastened it shut, removal of it reserved only for special situations and emergencies.
I then spoke my vows.
My Love, My Miss Ruby I accept this collar with love and joy. It is a symbol of the permanence of our bond to each other. It represents my gift of submission to you in which I promise to always, love and honour you. I also promise to cherish you, and obey you and to keep your love with me, ever in my heart. You are my protector, I acknowledge this, and promise to honour your role unfailingly.As you place this collar on my neck, I give myself to you fully of my own free will, in heart, soul and body. From now into eternity, we proceed together as one.
At this point I removed my bracelet and in silence offered it to my miss. She held out her wrist and I fastened it.
We then signed our names to our contract, spent some time enjoying our roses, and then embraced and kissed at length.
This was definitely the happiest moments of my life, and I think too for Ms. Ruby. I wear my collar with immense pride and joy.