The evolution of a Master / slave relationship

By 2019-11-15BDSM, M/s

Julie blogs at and can be found on twitter @MPBjulie.

A lifestyle slave, she and her Master have been together for almost 6 years and live together in a 24/7 power exchange relationship.

Master and I met in an online chat room in January 2014. I was newly out of a bedroom only D/s relationship and still married to my vanilla husband. Master was in a long-distance M/s relationship. Things for us started online as a bit of fun – playing out BDSM scenes and chatting with others and alone.

Soon after we met in real life, (we lived only 40 minutes apart) we realised that there was a special chemistry between us. At the time neither of us was looking for anything long term, He wanted a short-term play partner and I didn’t want to rush into anything. But I also knew that I wanted to explore my submissive side much more than had previously been possible. So, my submissive training, and our relationship began. Things developed quickly and by the summer of that year I had agreed to become his slave and soon after we set about ending our other relationships. We have been monogamous ever since.

Master states to this day that He felt my submission on the day we met. Certainly, I felt a huge sexual and emotional attraction to him. But also, he had an effect on me that I couldn’t explain. I wanted to explore the kinks we had been discussing and I instinctively knew he was the person to show me. The following day I went to his house and willingly allowed myself to be bound, gagged and tortured in the most exciting way.

Sex and play have always been a big part of what we do together. But from the start there were other, more psychological elements of our relationship. First, He introduced the notion that I should refer to myself in the third person. Master told me that this would enable me to take a step back from my vanilla self and give myself more fully to Him. At the same time, I should call Him Sir or Master. Referring to myself as ‘this girl’ took some getting used to. But over time it is who I have become, His property, His slave. The origins of myself as an owned slave are rooted in my willingness submit to that initial request.

Master generally refers to me as girl, or this girl, if He wants to get my attention when we are alone, or to remind me of who I am. But I am also His (pleasing) bitch. My blog name,, is a direct reference to this term of endearment. Actually, I love to be called bitch or slut by him and don’t find those terms especially degrading.

Orgasm ownership is another element of our dynamic that originated at beginning of the relationship. Firstly, that I must always ask permission to come, next that I always thank Master when I have orgasmed. We went through a period of forced orgasm training that involved Him bringing me to the edge of climax before making me wait for an increasing length of time. Thankfully He is not big on denial and instead prefers to make me come, a lot.

External signs of his ownership began with piercings – nipples and clitoral hood. This was something I had been thinking of doing before we met and gladly agreed to. As He says. I willingly modified my body for His pleasure. A year after I became Master’s slave He collared me in a private ceremony in my living room. I was naked and knelt before Him.  Kneeling isn’t a big thing for us generally, my knees really can’t cope. But it is something that I instinctively do when the situation arises.

After my collaring I offered Master my limits and also agreed to a set of rules relating to my general behaviour, His role as Owner and Master and mine as slave.

I can’t say that I am the perfect specimen of obedient slave. But that isn’t what He wants, most of the time. I am a strong woman who until a year ago held down a senior management job. I have my opinions and will voice them. I don’t wait to be told what to do and prefer to get on with things. But I do know who is in charge in our relationship. I do defer and will accept His decision (though not always immediately). I am often called bratty and sometimes I will admit I am. Often though he says it to remind me I am pushing things. However, punishment is not a big thing for us.

Now that we live together, we have settled into a lifestyle that on the surface looks like any other. We are a couple in our late 50’s, we have an active social life and enjoy the arts. But we probably have more and kinkier sex than most people of our age. We have a playroom containing numerous restraints, impact and other toys as well as dildos, vibrators, violet wand etc. We attend Munches and Play Parties and most of our friends are from the kink community.

My slavery falls into the sex and service category (if that is your thing). Increasingly I provide at home, what I think makes his life easier. Often household tasks that any partner would provide. But also dressing in a way I think he would like, leaving off the panties or dropping to my knees so I can provide service to his cock.

That doesn’t mean we don’t shop together, that he doesn’t cook for me or get the morning coffee. He cares for me as any partner would. But if Master tells me to strip off, to drop to my knees and suck his cock, then I do it (usually without question).



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